i said yes. 

a simple answer indeed but around it hung so many factors & unaccounted etc’s. my heart knew from the moment the question was asked that the answer was always yes. but my mind couldn’t quite catch up as it’s in the habit of doing. you see, the thing about my mind is that oftentimes its much too logical. all too reasonable. and can be quite a martha. my mind took me to the well-traveled places of sense, reason, and doubt. as i walked these familiar paths i could see how yes would be quite a ridiculous choice. 

yes meant leaving the comforts & familiarity of my most beloved ones. 
yes meant not finishing school and putting it off yet again. 
yes meant potentially becoming financially unstable. 
yes meant too many sacrifices all at one time. too much. too much. 

i’m thankful that my heart knew better this time. my heart knew what my father in heaven was thinking when he asked me. he wanted me to say yes. simply because he asked. he wanted to know that i trusted him period. the words lingered in the back of my throat a little too long because my mind knew that once i vocalized it, it would make it a bit more official. but the words slowly made its way out into the fields in front of me and the open skies above me. nobody heard me, but him. 

i said yes to the unknown. 
i said yes to the costs. 
i said yes to the commitment. 
i said yes to the adventure. 
i said yes. 

moreover, i said yes to him and that was all he needed and that was all i needed. 

so here’s to the start of an incredible adventure that will be worth every cost. sydney, we’re coming soon.  

this is my pastor. my spiritual father. just like everyone in this video says, i wouldn’t be where i am today without him. God’s used him to impact my life in a way that’s forever changed. i love you pc. though i may not show it much, i really honor you, appreciate you, and look up to you in so many ways. you are very very very special to me pc! 

You see me and you know me and you love me through & through

letting this truth soak in. 

"and when i don’t understand, i will choose you"

even when i don’t understand, help me to choose you God. in every circumstance, in every decision, in every thing .. somehow and someway i will choose you. 

my heart is full

i didn’t realize how much i missed my kids until i saw them today after a week long vacation. i mean vacation was great, but my heart was so excited to see my kids and i was ready to get back into the classroom with them. i woke up this morning extra excited as i put on my most comfortable clothes to play with them in. as it hit 9:25, i saw my first few students strolling into class. as i knelt down and opened my arms, my kids knew exactly what to do. each kid fit themselves perfectly into my embrace as we exchanged greetings and smiles. the kids had so much to say about their vacation and i couldn’t wait to hear about it either. there was a whole lot of joy throughout the entire day as we worked, learned, and played together. something interesting happened over the break, their english got better. i guess the break allowed everything they learned to really settle and establish its roots. pretty cool. we got a lot of work today, but more than that we spent most of the day stuck to one another like glue as we chilled and laughed. towards the end of the day, i had a cute convo with two of my girls alice and christina.

me: alice, did you miss me during the break?
alice: (thinks really hard) i think i was having too much fun to think about semy teacher…” 
me: (chuckles..how can you not chuckle) well, i’m glad you had so much fun sweetie
christina: (sneaks in from the side) i did many things too but i thought of semy teacher many times.
me: (my heart melts a bit) i thought about you a whole lot too honey 

a few years ago, i would’ve never imagined myself having true genuine fun hanging out with a bunch of 6 year olds .. but i’ll testify again that i haven’t genuinely laughed so much in my life than with these little rascals. my heart is so full. full of love. i think i’ll sleep really well tonight :) 

lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones

from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well.  from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well.  from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well.  from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well.  from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well.  from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well.  from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well. 

from jordan matter’s “dancers among us” … i find dancers to some of the most beautiful people on earth. the way they are able to express themselves through their bodies and movements. i feel that it’s one of the most raw, freeing and liberating forms of expression. it is also one of the most vulnerable yet courageous forms of expressing oneself. this man captures that freedom so well. 

romeo + juliet kinda night. luhrmann’s rendition. the piano & string instrumentals takes me to another place every time. 

holy spirit what do ya think?

if anything, what i’ve been realizing as of late is that holy spirit is someone i need to start talking to. i’m not gonna lie, i love talking to god the father cause he’s my dad and when i need things or just wanna lounge around i go to him all the time. and jesus, he’s my go-to when i’m feeling all emotional, good for bad. so where does the holy spirit come in … well in my daily life i realized i don’t talk to him much at all. the only time i ever really acknowledge the holy spirit is during a retreat or when fire falls, you know. and acknowledge was pretty much all i did. but this past retreat, i felt daddy and jesus telling me to talk to holy spirit. so, these past two weeks, i’ve been making an effort to get to know the holy spirit by simply asking him a question: “what do ya think?” we’ve been talking about music these days. so i’ll put my iphone on shuffle and as each song comes out, i’ll ask holy spirit, “what do ya think about this one?” i found that some of the stuff i listen to he really digs, and some not so much, which i’ll skip for his sake :) so, just want to say that holy spirit’s pretty cool and i’m kinda really excited to get to know him better.